i feel really excited when i think of my upcoming traffic police test in less than 3 weeks. the "gian"(hokkien for urge) to change bike is here again=/
models i've been looking at for the past few days in online forums and ads.



gsxr400- s4 spec 1-

every word. every second, every moment.
crazy? only me.

i was to see the Alps up north
the soft green hills of Tuscany
romance in the rugged Apennines
and feel Vesuvius' breath on me

but you didnt tell me we were bound for Holland
no you didnt tell me you had changed your mind

it is such a different place
and how could i tell my friends
i spent my days being mesmerized
by dutch windmill technology

and i dont care if there're tulips here in holland
cos you didnt tell me you had changed your mind

oh.. the shame
the face that i have tagged to my name.


alone, i stand here all alone
and God my feet hurt from the running that i've done
but u cant feel the pain the way i feel
standing here alone


you will never know
how i have shielded(sheltered) you from calamity
you could never know the plans
my father has for humanity

did i hear you say that you're lonely here in holland?
could you ever know the process of God's mind?

oh.. the shame
the face that i have tagged to my name.


alone, i stand here all alone
and how my feet hurt from the running that i've done
but u cant feel the pain the way i feel
standing here alone

Labels: incomplete

dear blog,

i am feeling really disorganized right now. i dont think it's the lack of sleep, though i was awakened this morning by some very LOUD acapella music my father was blasting from my sister's laptop. anyway i could "sleep back" after that.

last night we were at yh's house for christmas. which was nice. it's only my third landed property i've been to in singapore. small but nice piano(paco- never seen before too), very "guai" cat(judging from the way it walked), good food, great time and better company. i'm sorry, but let me reiterate that i shall by no means be pressured into writing in standard Queen's english in my blog. because i want to write it the way i feel. so i'm sorry if anyone disapproves.

sometimes i wish that time wouldnt pass so quickly. and it's a very moody character, time. it chooses it's moments to be fleeting and stalls when it feels like it. but alas it has no master. so we are all under it's prerogative.

i have been trying( in vain) to capture the christmas feeling this year and melt it down
into a song. but i have been very very unsuccessful in the area of lyrics- i cant decide what i want to say. there's too many things to say to the audience but limited by the melody.
and having my father home is helping with the recording. cos the place is more noisy with him around. and i get interrupted a lot more, to hear his opinions on a wide range of subject matter, from my life to my current job to my music. i feel really flustered when he's around. partly cos i cant get anything done, mostly because whatever he has to say is not going to make a difference to the situation, because he talks but who was responsible for it all that happened? i dont have to spell it out- heaven and earth know.

i went to malaysia at about 8pm for petrol(and to try to calm my racing heart.) saw this yellow piece of paper stuck at the petrol kiosk that restricted foreign vehicles from fuelling up more than 20litres of malaysian petrol before they exit the country; i was wondering how would they check. and why were they so dumb? we singaporeans go in to fill up petrol from them because we find our pumps (for the same brand and grade) more expensive than theirs. arent we giving them more business? money? why do they want to limit the amount of petrol we buy from them? am i so naive i'm not seeing the other point?

i find this year to be closing way faster than i can handle! i hope the last few days can be spent very meaningfully, with my friends.

the ride earlier calmed me a little, but my heart's working up again. you know it's the same feeling as when ur writing a song, or u see a certain someone smile. or u see a double rainbow first thing in the morning once u wake up and leave ur tentage to make for breakfast, though u know it's gonna be another long day in australia. drinking doesnt make you calm, though it makes you ponder, long and deep. sometimes u ponder until u lose track of your thoughts. in any case pondering is really bad beacuse sometimes it gets u nothing done.

just realised that i'm on duty for hof on the 1st of jan. that's a friday, and a public holiday. what a coincidence. couldnt there be like, a break because it's bew year's day? haha

feeling calmer now. i was intending to type until i was calm enough to sleep. from not so calm to more calm, i've actually lost some of wht i'd wanted to say. real lousy.

i wrote a diary for when i was in australia. it helped me contain some of my most private thoughts that i had. i think i want to do that for 2010. couple of song ideas are in there too.
i noticed that i can come up with tunes based on only single words. i have the chorus to one song titled: alone, from my stint there. it's not about me alone. it was about this tree that i saw, standing against the evening sun. with no companions(peers) about it. it was just the grass. and the mountain range in the distance. and it was all alone. and almost the instant my mind uttered that word, i had the tune for the chorus. all these songs will probably go into what i call my back catalogue. to be kept and buried. i've even forgotten the earlier ideas from a few years back. if i can forget them means they're probably not good enough.

i really admire songwriters. they have this ability to transcend the area of awareness of everyone else to create that song. i'm nowhere near. come to think of it, i'm nowhere near anything at all. music- half-past six. no grades. only can "bluff" when i play. voice-awful. education-lagging behind. eloquence- pitiful. i only write well to myself and think and "voiceover" fluently in my own mind to myself. somehow it always gets lost in the transmission to whoever. i really really want to set all this right. but how?

i thought u played very well. i've never hear u play before, and i was pleasantly surprised! i hear ur run over mozart's sonata=) i think piano players should learn to move away from static and boring chord playing. i'm sorry. i love runs. wild runs that let me see and feel more accurately what the composer is seeing and feeling. as such i love chopin and liszt. they run alot. and their chords are lovely too. i like cadenzas and adlibs. but i havent played them for so long. i havent played the piano properly(believe it or not) for 3 years. i have not done scales for the same amount of time. i'm still getting away with what i have left in my 2 hands but that's gonna go soon if i dont get back to the basics. i have to make time to go back to the piano. and become closer friends with the guitar.

i have so many things i'd like to do. i seriously hope to get that song done soon. and another song that will be guitar led, for a smaller audience. david has not let me hear his idea yet. we dont write songs together( just for the record), but he's been telling me about it since i was in australia. i'll bet it's probably a good idea too.

when feelings get the better of you a song will inevitably be born.

feel like i can sleep now. haha

thanks blog.

church and practice tmr. work on monday. back to business.

Labels: rstlne

hey.
merry christmas everyone!
i am really not in a mood to blog right now, though there's much i'd like to say and write down.
but this year i spent christmas with friends and family. and that's what's worth it all.

Labels: rstlne

not feeling well. think i'm catching a cold.
headache and neckache. feel like sneezing. going to sleep=(

watched the princess and the frog with st, lilian, mh, zw and cm
very well planned show, kudos to disney.
haha.
=)

Labels: rstlne

went out with m on wed. caught zombieland at the cathay.
had conquerors on thur and fri. and had port ops on sat.
was back in camp today. will be back at port tmr for trucking of more tanks.
haiz. wasted weekend working. *rue*



music i'm listening to now.
no reply at all- genesis.

tired.
2 consecutive days of work till 9.
tmr's another early day. though not as bad as sat( had to wake at 5)

i cant think of the words. how?

back to work tmr. 530 am.
sunday burned too.

and i'll be back to work very soon. starting tmr afternoon.
then sat, sun and mon. so i'm not gonna be able to play on sun.
i dont know how i should feel about that.

alright. time for an update on what's been happening in my life.

came back from overseas training in the land of oz 5 days and 3 hours ago. went to dfs, got this limited edition absolut vodka in purple and black imitation leather wrap with studs, a merlot(i think) and 3 cans of tiger classic. havent drunk any yet.
that same day, went to collect my bike from nus. cos i lent it to vic during my 2month overseas stint. went to the bike shop at bukit merah to get it fixed up. not much damage actually, just some new scratches to the fuel tank, head fairing, exhaust pipe cover and broken pillion leg rest. vic buanged. got caught in the rain on the way there. went home, had dinner, and slept. first night back in singapore.
it felt good to be back. back to my friends, my bike, and my computer. lol
church the next day. stress cos i didnt know there were so many events in dec. and i'm on roster quite a bit it seems.
played pool with reg d peeps the next day after dinner. many many months since i handled a cue stick. my aiming and shot proficiency has dropped significantly. not that i'm pro, but i feel so lousy when i see that shots i could have handled in the past with confidence fail to materialise now. lol.
and the event was "graced" by 2 special guests. one more special than the other, cos it didnt seem like she'd come. heh.
sunday, was a mini regret.
oh. went to citymusic on sat afternoon to get my amp, effects and a mixer. spent about 700, collected the mixer the same day, then went vincent's hse to be calefare.

side note purely for educational purposes-

(according to the dictionary of singlish and singaporean english)
calafare /kah-lah-fair, kair-lair-, kɑːlɑːˈfɛː, kɛːlɛː–/ n. [Cant., origin uncertain: see 2008 quot.] Also cair-lair-fare, calefare, callafair. 1 An actor playing a minor role or bit part in a film or television programme, an extra. 2 fig. An idle person, a layabout; a supporter, a hanger-on.
1 2008 “Are you sure this is how you spell calefare?” Calefare [blog for Mediacorp TV comedy series], 30 July. There is truly no such word in the dictionary. Pronounced as “care-lair-fare”, the term refers to bit-role actors, or extras in the entertai[n]ment industry in Hong Kong, Malaysia and Singapore. No one can really agree on how to spell the colloquialism, some spell it as “Callafair”, some spell it as “Cair-lair-Fare”. According to the producers, the term “calefare” – literally translated from Latin means to “keep warm”. And since the producers decided to spell it as “Calefare”, we, the calefare, are sticking with it. Nobody really knows for certain how we extras came to be referred to as “calefare”. One theory is that the term evolved from a Cantonese phrase (“chia li fei”) that referred to the lunch packs served to us – tomato rice, curry rice and coffee.

=)
----------------------------------------

monday, went with vic to collect the amp and effects which i did not collect on sat because of the shortage of stock.
today's tuesday. just enrolled for my class 2A motorcycle license. going for my 1st lesson later. overdue imo, cos i was supposed to be able to take it in sep, but postponed it for the oz trip.
cant wait to ride a 400cc bike:)
and did a check st saf yatch club for PPDCL. shd be taking that with vic. cant wait to be able to pilot a motorboat!

Labels: still

here i am again.
i dont have so much heart to lose.

random discoveries today

Labels: some new hiphop

yes, i'm back.
---------------

there's too much on my mind now to say here.
i think i'll leave it to get sorted out inside first.
---------------
i need ideas=(