there's this juice i cant get enough off.. ever since i bought some milk at the supermarket a few days ago( it came along with it). it's mangosteen-pomegranate juice. and its nice=)
just done woth watching sweeney todd. a really short summary? it's a complicated show with uncomplicated characters.
"life is a peculiar event. u are a part of it, yet can be apart from it. u definitely "have" life( or else you wouldnt be alive), but does life "have" you? do you know where u belong? do you know why you're here? do u understand the reason for ur existence, and can u comprehend the possibility if u not being "here"? because that possibility seems fathomably simple. but that's because we dont know which part of life we're tied into. therefore we cant compute the result of us not being in it. i feel like i'm not a part of anything. possibly attributed to army syndrome. which is a critical illness that can only be cured by ord. something of a commodity, actually. well but commodities arent conventionally living things, unless u are a farmer, or an unconventional trader.
in any sense, i feel this terrible feeling today that i lack so much, possess nothing, and want what i cannot get. all of which mean the same actually, because one leads to the other.
i feel mentally deficient, physically inoperative, and emotionally (unrendered??) waiting for my cough to get better. i miss the taste of beer. i find i do things to find that i feel apart from it. and yet i still do them anyway. perhaps to find that in time they belong to me."
ive got this problem. i write better than i speak. why? cos whatever i want to say goes through my mind 1st. and i HEAR my mind speaking it. but the sounds somehow dont reach my mouth. and i end up cant really talk in front of ppl. it gets better with time.. cos then somehow the pathway "warms up" and i start to talk normally. but i wish there was no lag time.
"i had the weirdest dream this afternoon as i was sleeping, and i'll never never forget it. how could i? how could something that wouldnt happen in real life happen so vividly in a dream?
it wasnt just the image. there was the sense of touch too. the welcome rush and the pulse between twenty that i'll never ever forget.
and i awoke to discover that everything was different. and thus it dawned on me that that never happened! and the daze lasted for almost an hour. but the feeling and the memory lingers."