i will never forget the feeling of the weak. i will never forget the feeling of the lonely. i will never forget the feeling of the forsaken. i will never forget the feeling of despair. i will never despise those in need of help, no matter how trivial. i will never turn anyone down, no matter what they want from me. i will never judge anyone. i am a sinner. i will remember where i came from. i will always provide help to anyone who needs it, as long as it is in my capacity, even if it isnt, i will direct the needy to one who will help them. i will never scorn another. i will never resort to abuse to attain what i deem right. i will never impose on another. i will never forget the feeling of shame. i will help those who have been shamed. i will befriend the lonely. i will aid the weak. i will encourage the forsaken. i will share hope with those in despair.i i will never forget that i am one with no moral principles/conscience. therefore i will never attempt to assert my righteousness. i must remember that if i ever hold a respectable position some day, some time, in this amorphus world, in this great expanse of uncertainty, i carry the expectations hopes fears opinions regard respect integrity honour of all these people. i will never practise politics. i will never resort to forced democracy. i must remember that i am evil. i must remember that i am a hypocrite. i must remember that i am a liar. i must remember that i am a bastard. and i must always remember that his name is joel.
my horoscope says that i should just leave any emotional baggage from last year behind and move on this year (why are all horoscopes..same star some more..DIFFERENT???i dont know which to believe!)
y.o.u.y.u.
the chinese language has never meant more to me than now.. i just wish i could turn back the years and start again in pri sch learning chinese....
i cant explain what i mean
cuz that would lead to what i feel
and fom there things will get complicated
messy
tangled up
i need to breakaway for my sake it sounds wrong i need to breakaway for my sake i know it is not right its left.. true left.. i dont talk in greek its all so easy to understand what im talking abt one just needs to take the time to read and understand................... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- __________________________________________________ ----------------------------------------------------------------------
last day of work todae may miss ompany of some of my frens super slackers lor they
thrilling
even wanted watch movie
haa
right in the middle of our job
adapting the style of narration used by jasper:-
es: sian leh..talk cock la..so boring jw:wan go eat again?..can slack.. (this like our 3rd meal from lunch la) es:dun wan la.. we go watch movie better..i wan see the new jet li show..huo zhe Narnia..zou leh..wo hai mei kan Narnia.. lmy: wa ni men zhen de shi...(shakes head) es:(drawls) zuo mo?..pa na ge tu tou de lai zhao wo men ah? pa shen mo..zou la..zui duo wo gen ta shou wo shi agency de ren..bu shi ta de ma...
(incredulous looks all around)
outcome:_________
lol
luckily tat day everything went smoothly.. amazing luck i wish i have more of that luck.. could sure use some...
nothing more to say. sometimes its best not to say anything when one has nothing to say... i should know... TIRED. NITE. SEE YOU TMR IN THIS SAME WORLD.
yea..u dun wanna see juz sum egs right? specific egs huh its 4 our own benefit ya.. uh-huh yea yea uh huh yaya yoyo yah wah siao kbkb knnbcjb knnm cant be more explicit or i may be the target of whistle-blowers.. _________________________________
i guess i'll haf to learn ta accept that somethings shd be left the way they are ________________________________________________________
im not faking in math class in case anyone thinks im puttin on a show, think again my math is really damn lousy i have the lousiest brain for math dun believe ask those hu noe me in sec sch ask dem whether my a math sec 3 ever pass
its only in sec4 i seek extra help from another teacher in my sec sch tat i managed to improve i really am a stupid asshole idiot brainless peabrained tweety when it comes to math.. my brain just goes NUMB yea NUMB
im serious
in exams esp durin e math paper sometimes my brain goes numb i lose all chain of thought and there goes the rest of the lovely day. i am really SLOW when it comes to math..
blue 10% in case u need a ref from our emergenetics profile
damn tired
jus finished work
shd be gettin a decent commission
sold off nearly 500 cartons of drink.. haa quite happy with my feat .. but skool next day is a totally diff story..
tmr die
got pe then still muz work
sure dog-tired...
how to run properly?
i want to be as fit as yanzi and tommy chen leh
they singing chattin while runnin 4k in under 18 mins..
haizz
when can i reach tat level?
no motivation like calvin huimin alvin cecilia mornin go run leh
and i dun feel endorphins
guess my body dont produce them..
i am SOOOOO tired after pe
ya
i am a weakling i noe....... TIRED
still muz do gp!!! im a weakling i noe......... afraid of failure rejection
my second time makin a new yr resolution.. muz learn to keep such things.. important character i guess dunno anyway here goes:(in order of importance to me)
get min2Aa for a lvl write songs that will become popular learn to maintain eye-contact with some people.. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx perform at least once this yr write a duet(like shan hu hai) perform the duet be more hardworking do my homework be more motivated improve in n chem and math make sure i have enough money find a good paying job at end of yr buy rollerblades buy new acoustic guitar with plug-in buy my own keyboard synthesizer buy a com sign up for internet connection buy a recording equipment improve in standing broad jump become fitter than tommy chen improve in my swimming improve in my running out on 6 kgs do 25 chinups learn to play pool learn bowling buy a semi-pro level bicycle take class2 license(motorcycle!!) buy a motorbike ... thats all i can think of now.. of course i wont be able to keep it.. but these are my hopes.. although i now noe that it is tragic to hope.. because hope can be denied... (DSB???)
working these few days after sch till cny damn tired but fun la and the work is easy :promoter for marigold 5./day 5.5/sat 10./sun ... not bad huh
thought so
but tat means no time do hw nvm as long as i haf enuf money to tide me over this yr haha im as close to independence as i can get.. only depend on parents support of 40./mth haha
they dun wan give more, ill make sure i dun nid ta depend on them. i haf my pride.
next yr i might stop taking from them totally cuz ill be workin even more.. ill support myself.. thank you for bringing me up.. i need to get away from all the murkiness that remains
think i haf been a bastard? too bad
i dun really nid u prepared to fight for myself i dun really care wad else u might try to cook up.. or anything else u may wan to do be it a false reconciliation or anything
dun worry i will maintain u i haf my pride and honour my word..
-------------------------------------------------------- work today was cool met several diff promoters lyk me pepsi(e pepsi girl...ok la.. ..mosta e guys vying for precious talktime) coca-cola yeos tiger carlsburg lukam u name it NTUC has it.. lol
some older than me a lot younger than me o lvls waitin fer results.. the othrs.. waitin fer army..
wow
got ppl to talk to la
gain lots of new experience.. esp from the guy hu jus finish NS.. oh. and he says that thetre are NO GHOSTS inside..
YUPxx
no GHOSTS
but he says there r weird noises of ppl cryin
anyway
who is scared o sth that cant even respire? i mean lets take this logically
since ghosts dont respire they dun haf energy no mitochondria n wad haf u..right? so how can they move? perhaps if there is a gust of wind
then that may juz bring them flyin ta u.. heheh right?
anyway whos scared of ghosts? im not i say for certain though i haf nva seen one hope i get a chance to see one.. lets see wad it can do to me.. lol
matter vs non-matter..
any way i haf my faith to "protect me" and the faCT THAT IM BORN on the chinese calendar date of "qi ye shi wu" july 15 lol im supposed to be a ghost.. too so they prob wont even come to attack me.. lolz
will be workin till cny eve
after cny muz add oil liao sia
a lvl tis yr
but
still cant muster myself and my energy and willpower
I have a new band consisting of J1's !! musicians ' ClUb !! have to begin preparing for valentine's Day Concert sia.. Should be doing Savage Garden's I Knew I loved u .. Cant wait to start practicing with them...
cant wait... so many things to work out.. wont be easy... but shd be..fun..
i will nva forget that u accused me of such a deed..
because i AM NOT A FRAUD!!!
when i make it..if i ever make it i will remember to hold u to what u said. (if anyone has any comments abt my music be it nasty or nice i want to hear them.. i want to improve i want to write music that people want to listen to.. not some trash that only a select grp of ppl noe how to appreciate.. especially comments that my songs sound similar to other artistes.. cuz i may not noe.. and in that case i will make amendments. thank you all.) but dont attempt to without even listening, attempt to attest that my song sounds like jay chou's { 涓����棣�}'s chorus?? are u crazy?
its NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!
right? anyone who has heard my first song...
real pissed
fucking pissed and dont do that in front of other teachers for support, asking them e name of the song for instance. if it is truly similar, let me noe. the part the evidence quietly and not try to damage my credibility in front of anyone else.
thanks. i appreciate comments.. and keep them coming.. hard and fast. dont let my outburst today deter anyone from telling me that my song sounds similar to any other. even the slightest noticeable resemblance in any instance i want to noe
cuz i am original i want to be original i have my pride i dont want to be labelled a copycat
C A S E C L O S E D --------------------------------------------------
i tink the little pink auntie from ns1 should not be so arrogant.
given that she seemed to be having a sore throat today i will not say anything more.
now that i haf a tablet at least i can tap on some wireless at my home.. but i have to sit super near the window or there is no signal... upload speeds are even slower.. but who am i to complain? at least i can blog more regularly now..
right?
seem to have lost all my motivation to study after that long o lvl break.. read in the papers that from 2009 onwards results for o's will be released earlier skool starts by jan yr end hols start earlier
which from where i am now sounds pretty reasonable..
at least those students wont reach my level of demise
its tragic
not being able to catchup
not being able to muster myself to focus on my studies
how can i get distracted like this?
this is not the time to be distracted.... a lvl this yr seh!!
haiz..
damn dumb
tmr pe
cant run for nuts now.. all that working has made me weak...
i feel as though my lungs have become a lot smaller
as if i cant get enough air
to breathe.. so fast lungs burning
i cant even recall the last time i experienced that sensation...
growing ooolllddd.. OLD!!!
heavy chains and heavy heart...
an old man needs his sleep.. tc and goodnight to all
handed in my song today my 1st attempt my 1st demo my 1st hope at becoming a song writer/singer
results announced by mid feb
cant wait lor
i hope that i stand a chance
of course as always
one should never hope for the impossible
who knows this better than i?
therefore i have the right to say so
a recording contract is at stake!!!
not so much my ego... but i love music so much that i feel i have to seize every chane i have against all constraint like school(cant use the recording equipment everytime) schedule(on average i require several hours ~7 to make sure it turns out right..cuz im so an amateur at this) family(wont elaborate for safety reasons) my lunch(haha) and the list goes on
made a new friend today..nus oso in this competition...
if i dont win i still want to get top3... top 3 got cash i think...
musicians club will be producing a commemorative album soon!!!
anyone interested? askin the teacher if my songs can be used... i have a feeling that the rest of the bands will not be given the same privileges as OVERGATE aka edwin's band yup the soccer player singer(with the cowboy voice)
no im not jealous
its just that over the course of last yr ive not failed to notice the shortage of other bands performing at various occasions.. KEPT seeing edwin sing with his band..
i hope that changes this yr.. i want to perform too..
which brings me to e subject:
there will be a concert to celebrate this yr's Valentine's Day!! should i be enthusiastic or what? like ive got someone to bring... tentative date 19 feb venue lt1 time night from mr ng it promises to be a cosyromantic affair
with nice songs... all the bands shd be performing
i hope my band finally decides to stop performing those heavy metal songs dont they realise by now thats not the kinda music girls listen to? (reminds me of franz ferdinand's mission: to write music for girls to dance to...) anyway
if they choose to perform that kinda music i might just decide to form a breakaway band.. with 2or 3 others who currently do not belong to any band.. (even though they may still be learning how to play the instruments) but.. not very feasible too lor... dumb man DUMB
think ive been exceptionally vocal tonight.. i need a glass of water..
i want to be a singer songwriter..i noe i can.. i will try hard do my best.. there is so much that i have to write about.. i want to eventually own my own recording company my own studio my own label be a producer like jay-z write lovely songs like jay write songs that travel straight to the heart like those korean songs (write korean songs?they sound so nice..makes me want to go learn the language so that i can put the words to my music..lol..dreaming too far ba) and sing them.. my 1st single is ready.. everything done by me
drums piano bass guitar arranged,produced,recorded in innova sttudios by me lyrics by me too..
i'll haf to work hard too i want to have a home recording studio.. need several thousand... but what is that compared to what ill be able to do with it?
go solo
cant wait for ij to buy the piano for the hall
will want to perform my songs on it
need to recruit a bassist and a drummer.. and ill be good to go..
tired of edwin dominating all the performances everytime with his cowboyish voice...