U noe sth? Getting and owning and riding my bike has been a very humbling experience. i am humbled by e raw power e machine can churn out. And how much more power it will give if i use different oil.. Change parts etc. And how this power if not controlled well by me e rider, will kill me if i so much as lose my concentration while riding at say 80 plus km per hour on average. And how i owe this responsibility to stay alive to my family and all my frens. And to God.
this has how i've felt ever since i got my krrzx150. A humbling experience it has been. Its no longer abt me.
so tmr is my 1st week of staying in for my driving course. and my thoughts and feelings are in a mess. Because of e course and because of a certain erosion. Erosion caused by continuous feigned ignorance that certain feelings still exist inside. And in hopes that they will just disappear because i'm so sure they're never gonna be fulfilled. And so there's this gnawing rawness that's caused by this erosion that's driving the chain of creative thought again. In fact i've been having some fresh ideas again. And being very non-committal abt it. Starting with e music box song. And thought of writing a song to "rival" e new hillsong piece. And it's incomplete cos i have incomplete words. And finally i think i have a string of very nice words here: and I'll pray I'll dream e same dreams as you...
think i can turn this into a song. I'm good at this. One of them's being intentionally vague. Cos it could mean i'm good at conjuring up songs or i'm good at ignoring how i feel or i'm good at being vague and i think i'm good at it. i think i shd blame having to stay in for this 8week course, book out on saturday afternoons and book in on sunday nights for making me feel this way.
interesting thought: can someone really live e life of another for that other? ever thought abt it?
call 66911043 with your answers. Lines are open. Lol.. Hmmm...
oh yea. jay chou has a new album. Duno wad it'll sound like. Hope it's good and ppl will faster send me e songs. Till next time..
so it's 10days since i got my riding license.. And 5days since i got my bike. happy. Now i duno how i'm gonna achieve my sports car dream...
Went gym with leeyin and vic. She mentioned abt vic looking unapproachable when he was silent and unsmiling.. Well i guess most of us prob look like that when we dun smile. And she said i look a lil blur/nonchalent look when i'm not smiling. I duno.. 1st i've heard. New experience ridin to gym and then to church. Then while gg up ly asked me had i seen dorothy. And i said yea.. And she asked me "pretty right?" and i was at a loss for words. Cos i din expect e qn. Plus it was like an "obviously" type of answer. And also i din feel e need to comment cos it was e type of comment i would say only to e person concerned. Tho i prol nva would cos i would fail. Lol. Hmmm.
So now playin pool. Later gonna watch soccer with vic chris andrew and co.. And drink? Means i cant ride. But vic's bringing barcadi. And alex mentioned to me who he liked. And asked if its ok. Haha. Hmmm.
And i'm gonna stay in from this wed to 14nov. Damn sian lei staying in. Cos kena class 4driving course. And means sat only come out at 2earliest. Book out from khaki bukit. By e time go home already 4 earliest. Sian. Still remember this 4 word cheng yu- xin bu zai yan. Haiz. Y must stay in i jus finish standby missing going out church etc and no life now must go for another no life course. Zzz.
Haiz. Guard duty now. Replacin someone. Cos he cant make it. Hmmm. At least i have sunday afternoon off this way. Either way weekend duties suck. Plus next week standby. Ahhh..
And what does friendship mean and what are its boundaries? Cos maybe i misunderstood what u said.
I hate life for its hazyness sometimes. And e song is not coming along because i cant find a chorus fitting enough. Maybe i shd not be so particular.. But will it still be good? Hahaha. Then u see again.. What is good and what is not? Doesn't it again depend on how others see it? To a certain extent? And how it's received?
i went for a pri school gathering last sat.. With a tremble in my heart and an expectant, hesitant step. I didn't know who i would meet that day.. But justina said it would be more than 10. And so my hopes grew. I had already prepared a mental list of names i could remember.. Names and faces i admit i wanted to see more than most... And with all this in heart and mind i made my way to city hall where my 1st encounter with 3 took place.
It was justina jac and acc! Lol.. And after 8 years of not seeing acc i simply could not remember him. Haha.. And so we proceeded up and out, to repeated announcements by e station control to clear e station cos it was too crowded. Lol. What kind of request is that? Haha. Anyway after standing ard for a couple of mins, we saw some other familiar faces. Cj came ambling along. Jus like he used to:) and wig him came a couple of other guys like zz andrew ck. And jq and jo came along too. I din recognise jo but she looked a lil familiar. Haha.. And a marcus and edwin. Haha. So many rite? And i saw someone familiar yet hugely unfamiliar.. In white wearing a super nice belt. I duno.. It sure looked good together with what she was wearing- and later found out it was yt! Woo..and she din recognise me. Neither did jo. Neither did some of e other guys. Lolol. So i was like asking around asking acc who was who and who was who. And then it was decided upon that we would wait for e rest at shokudo cos e station was really crowded and tho we had our nice little circle, e announcements were making communication really trying.
While waiting to enter shokudo kelvin came. Haha. And so after more small talk we went in for our dinner. E meal was really good. Good food..good marche like system of payment.. And then we took a group pic.. Asked one of e staff to help us take. And then yee leng came. Duno spell correct ma.. And lilian came. Lol. As expected i din recognise them either. And then we made our way to clarke quay for a drink or two.
And on e way chatted with lilian who kept asking who will be gg to ntu.. And i said i was supposed to go there. And she happily said oh she will be my senior. Lol. She din notice e part tense. Well nvm. Had a nice chat with yt too.. Funny.. Cos last time in pri sch i nva really talked to her a lot.but now there's still so much to say. Lol. And she's a nurse. And talked to jo too.. Who gave me some good advice abt army. And so we arrived at e bar recommended by edwin. We got a seat by e aircon.. E only two units in e house.. Anyway it wasn't too bad. Jus tat i tink we alr have very hot weather.. So it's nice to have some chill to e air. And lo remarked tat she nva expected to be drinking with pri sch frens. And neither did i. Haha. So after tat took some pics with them. And we took each other's new contacts and bade each other goodbye as some of us made our way home and others to meet other frens. It was a nice get-together..and i wil nva ever forget it as long as i live. Brings back plenty of memories and feelings. Secret or not all came flooding back. Really a night to remember and really hope to go out with them again soon:)