mother's relatives came from overseas to visit. ended up sittting through repeated"how are you's" and other customary greetings realised too: im really bad at eye contact. maybe some ppl have already realised. i cant look at some ppl when i talk and i just dunno how to start a conversation. and i can feel all the false warmness around me. whenever some guest come my house will suddenly feel so warm. whenever no one comes my house becomes a house. 4walls blinding white icy cold.
bitter excitement begins when the shouting starts.
*psychologically damaged emotionally distorted like the tetrahedral. haha. so funny
played soccer with shihan and peng yong.. relax a bit.. take mind off things. senseless fun a bit. actually not too fun..
coz i like shou luan jiao luan dunno whether got this word.. but i let a lot of GROUNDERS in today i mean high balls ok ba GROUNDERS?
haiz
wad is happening to me???
i seem to be losing it man.
bought other school test papers for math from sch bookshop with iswan dun think goin start yet anyway jus feel like buying. to kid myself that im gonna do. so many test next week lor bio math chem math sure die MY STATS.
sian
weekend.
gonna need to hunt for a sweater.. after yawen's bloody idiot bloody stole my sweater.
and gotta find a new blog skin. band width as usual.
ij media club broadcast over PA system this morning. interesting love is caused by chemicals in our brain. of course the interesting fact is not me hearing about this news today but being REMINDED Of it coz i read somewhere in the newspapers some years b4 some hormonal action even infidelity can be explained by hormone levels.
good area to go research gp on i guess. when writing abt family love marriage etc. if anyone is reading my blog..and needs to sit for gp at end of this yr.. best go do research. its interesting.
even on the subject of crushes. how do such things happen? how do feelings develop? i mean u see newspaper.. say.. the most beautiful girls in the world possibly.. y dun u "fall in love" with them? but with another person?
get my drift? (means get my point) trying to use better vocab so can on-form in gp exams.
bio tutorial not in bio group din do bio hw din bring english tys
weird argument
sian feel very sleepy.. gp couldnt sleep. irritated
long day still searching web for my new mp3 -----------------
yesterday gp mock exam
compo HARD like SIAO ALL dunno in the end i chose the qn on war.. whether it was necessary to prepar in times of general peace.. coz i thought can link to s'pore.. like total defence and all. worse part.. i forgot wad total defence consist of. hahaha
compre was easier than prelim1 i think but dunno la hope can get 30/50
i want to find my form for gp. on form.
-----------------------------------------
last day of week tmr. then after this wkend 13 weeks to A level
i want to buy a new mp3 player. HDD at least 20 GB any suggestions for brand anyone? ipod is out. dun wan wad so many ppl already have. creative damn ex and bulky.
considering SONY or AIGO suggestions? need it to store all my songs..plus all my games..b4 i return this tablet..haha
super sian today
kena plan timetable for a level in civics today. i was never any good with timetables. never planned a timetable for O
jus wrote down all the topics i had left to complete.. then jus kinda looked to see wad i had left lor.
must study so many hrs a day MEH???
where got time?
hate it when wireless fails. have to use LAN which is so much slower. furthermore i seem to be depriving another person of her internet time. coz my lan cable seems to be stolen.
random thought for today: SHE songs very nice. favourite chinese grp shd be she liao
#1 random feeling of the day: i know wad ur up to. u dun throw me off. its impossible to be wad u r from wad u claim to do.
#2 random feeling of the day: feelin half-down half up.
hmmm quite a nice monday today but feel it wld be better if not for the wait for the chem mcq and the mcq itself. spoil the early dismissal sia
surprisingly not sleepy today considering last nite.. off light at 12..feeling tired.. then slept immediately to 12.30.. and woke up as in really couldnt fall back to sleep till 2.30 like tat. real weird.
toss and turn.. listen mp3.. all din get me back to sleep. i wonder wad was wrong.
i like bio grpp 3 i like azahar to teach. WAY better than mr tan i ask mr tan qn he always never answer. always EVADE. change subject. coz i think he dunno. haha
lots of hw.
haiz.
anyway given the chance to go another jc.. i think i will still come innova. a lot of reasons that not gonna tell.
gym today highlight of the day: i bought a new toothbrush. darlie. thought the pattern of the bristles nice. plus criss cross curious how it would feel on my teeth. it feels a littlesharp.. thats all
hmm i think my tablet spoiling. very lag surf net explorer will close msn error loading very lag like my brain.
all of a sudden
after 1st time playin tennis with iswan on friday now feel like playing. i think not bad for novice iswan tried to teach me to lock my wrist but i cant hit with my wrist locked so i guess i'll kiv that to later play my own way for a while.
looks like racquet games are for me. i wan train tennis.
but one major side effect if u dun stretch after the game the ache is WORSE than badminton.
I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.
quote of the day..
was suddenly reminded of this quote.. kinda popped into my head last night. remembered that someone had told that to me b4...
lost mood to do hw back to playing games. when will i stop man...
i everything PES A until kena the height and weight that station.. dunno they measure so many stuff.. like my metabolism rate.. body fat bone mass muscle mass..
queer.
anywan what i remembered is my metabolism is 5283kJ dunno 1 day or wad. calories i forgot. body fat:12% so i weigh 51kg.. shd be about 6 kg of fat only. no wonder in class i feel cold.
the rest cant relly remember.. but remember majority of my weight now is one and muscle mass. saw them tick: POOR PHYSIQUE
i always thought my weight for my height is ok? matbe they mean my shoulders no broad enough bones too small? or chest too small or biceps too small or short legs no ronaldinho thighs.
how do i know man..
yea.. so overall im a PES B which of course is good too. it says: fit for MOST operational vocations.
PES A says: fit for ALL operational vocations. the BEST PES. like wad the hell. napfa 28 points not enough to get PES A
hmmm
anyway pes b not so bad. wont kena commando. anyway pes can change de coz they will test again when u go in. so got time to train till pes a i suppose. i wan be pes a.
the whole 4 hrs+ checkup all they played was jay chou songs.. so i practically heard all his songs.. from early to latest. like keep improving..his songs. not bad..at least got nice music to listen wah the female receptionist act fierce sia see her this kind of face.. pretty but act fierce..dunno wad to say. my fren say feel like slapping her. haha
generally the ppl conducting the tests were well-mannered.. of course got some like to act big a bit.. shout here shout there.. i mean.. ridiculous lor this guy.. walks with cross legs.. still yelling at the pre-enlistees goin for the checkup.. i mean.. one of them jus pretend brusj past him he will fall down and his legs will be in a knot lor.. jus say:"oops..im sorry" and can walk off.. he will be on the floor liao lor.. haha so evil.. but i think if one is weak shouldnt act strong.
must always remember: its always good to keep a LOW profile.
hmm went wdl regional lib to study with iswan peng and shihan came later
the mood abated.. had quite a productive time studyin.. finished first 3 chapt of bio option topics.. so left 2 human repro and the terrible hormone hormone thing.. plus did my band 4 functions homework
iswan lent me his sweater.. thanks or else i would have frozen to death after the BK meal.. so cold still drink ice coke.. back in lib.. toilet..realised it was damn cold la.. haha came back to study.. so cold.. guess not enough lipids on me.. hahaha
peng wan lend me "the constant gardener" supposed to be a thriller..suspense kinda show.. i wan watch.. realised long time din see thriller this kinda show liao mostly watch those love-based stories. dunno wad award-winning show..so must watch.
back to school tmr. quite sian considering i dun think i got my chem remedial ws on energetics and all with me dunno in class or not.. so havent done.. i seem to be misplacing a lot of my stuff.
ever since i took my O level.. i have had no urge OUTDO others at studies.. no more incentive i dun get much satisfaction from beating ppl.. guess thats probably about 50% y i cant really be bothered to study. my mentality has become like: pass can le wad.. wad for so high.. pass is pass wad..
no more drive to challenge other ppl in class like in sec school..
another major factor: i seem to have lost my desire to learn.. at least from books. in sec school i read at least 2 books a week. since i started workin after o level.. i prefer ppl's company more. dun like to read liao. prefer to talk to more ppl.. listen to wad they say.. have fun with them.. no more indulgence in books.
so i guess i find ooks now VERY boring
so boring that i can sleep on lectures. sleep when doin math.. reqading bio and chem etc.. my brain will jus SHUT OFF
thats y..
of course.. the main thing is still that i am SUPER LAZY.
but the above 2 account for up to 50% of the blame. not trying to blame or make excuses.. somehow....
relatively uneventful day.. till bio lesson... azahar say y no one offer help say sure every class got it rep say wan extend 45 mins suddenly du lan say y teacher wan use dunno how to setup general statement? i suppose.. but he shdnt have blamed it on lack of students' help in 1st place..
wanted say short term memory so dun haf to repeat.. plus can tie in and explain for my poor grades.. plus if see him can say forgot ma all due to short term memory...
goood thing din say tho no time for such nonsense.
went tiong bahru to get my $2ooo check of course half goin to mt father...
met old work frens ask them help me cash my italy-france bet haha now got 20 more dollars to spend.. haha hopefully on dead man's chest next wk or sth haha
jus woke too damn tired not enough slp coz of the final match
got back Gp results got B4 overall.. not bad.. but not good enough. target is an A need to take ACTION for my GRADES
got back CHEM as well.. barely scraped a 50 % so my overall is CDF a.k.a. cumulative distribution function =s craZY even my grades got somemath element to haunt me...
gonna eat dinner... and clean up.. then try some tut 38...
jia you to everyone yahz nothing is over yet. 112 days still can achieve "miracles" even for those hu din do so well for gp this time.. never give up...
jus woke damn tired bbq was fun.. had "the balls, the dicks, and the breasts" wahaha vik and numinder really funny played taiti won quite a few times daniel brought his guitar edwin sing "daughters" all beside our "cute " pit coz we din have a real pit coz no more to book.. hahaha weird bbq that small pit look like a birdbath.. hahaha
wow edwin and gx got their song on a CD!!! for sale to raise funds for the straits times pocket money fund if im not wrong.. so good la.. its called "angels" havent heard it yet tho.. not sure if they selling it in school..
damn steady wor haha i wan my song on cd too.. haha but later ba now a level time.
doze for 4plus hours waitin for portugal germany kickoff portugal lost. sian
i dun like to see strong teams win..thats all.. haha i like to see relative unknowns trash and upset big named teams...
suPer tired after that.. wanted meet iswan go gymm.. then was cancel. din think anyone could wake in time.. did my morning piano.. read papers.. lunch then zzz all the way till now.. PIRATES of CARIBBEAN
haha i saw b4 on dvd from cher ling so dun think watchin now.. wa 2 days wasted no work done NO MATHS DONE i shouldnt continue like this.. but tonight got italy france.. maybe after this worldcup..
rootin for italy to WIN... i need to brainwash myself tell myself its no use. forget and stop dreaming. y else do they call it a chance in hell?
Its nine o'clock on a saturday The regular crowd shuffles in There's an old man sitting next to me Makin love to his tonic and gin He says, son, can you play me a memory? Im not really sure how it goes But its sad and its sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a younger mans clothes La la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da
Chorus: Sing us a song, youre the piano man Sing us a song tonight Well, we're all in the mood for a melody And youve got us feelin alright Now John at the bar is a friend of mine He gets me my drinks for free And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke But there's someplace that he'd rather be He says, Bill, I believe this is killing me. As the smile ran away from his face Well Im sure that I could be a movie star If I could get out of this place Oh, la la la, de de da La la, de de da da da Now paul is a real estate novelist Who never had time for a wife And hes talkin with Davy who's still in the navy And probably will be for life And the waitress is practicing politics As the businessmen slowly get stoned Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness But its better than drinkin alone
*Chorus
Its a pretty good crowd for a saturday And the manager gives me a smile cause he knows that it's me they've been comin to see To forget about life for a while And the piano, it sounds like a carnival And the microphone smells like a beer And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar And say, man, what are you doin here? Oh, la la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da
wad a nice job rite? to be a "piano man"... curse a levels..
bio final grade: C couldnt get 37 in mcq so can get B wad a fucking waste
awaiting chem and GP math sad case 45 upon 200 wow jus pass rite? how i wish can liquid the 2 put 1.. then pass liao
H.A.I.z
azahar talk cock la who say now get F cant get B or A NO ONE should listen to his ADVICE just now. 4 MONTHS NO one is going to GIVE UP understand? he is a lousy teacher who is trying to demoralise. jus realise iswan is taking his advice seriously for his MATH im not. i hope he doesnt. F*** azahar. no one has E or F faces.. not in our class.
no one shd give up jus listenin to his bull shit 4 months is a long time i think those hu are better shd help those hu are weaker. simple as that then no one gets left behind. i dun wan anyone to be left behind next year.
gonna try my math corrections. sleep.. then watch my portugal win france. coz i bet on them.
got back bio paper 2 and paper 3 today... overall 4o plus % need at least 37 and above in mcq to get a B... AAAARRGH so hard... some more i banked on bio....
chem.. hope can get back papers soon.. hope can get 2 B's.. at least then i wont feel so bad about my maths..
had a sudden craving for coke today.. drank the 2whole bottle over pirates of the caribbean.. i love the show.. haha entertaining.. brilliant plot and lines.. perfect.. i wan see the 2nd one.. openin soon rite?
then looked at the coke bottle.. saw puiser and feng ru face.. at the world cup exhibition in spore tat time.. the polaroids the ppl could take but must cue that one..remember? ya that one din noe till now.
best part? address: woodlands ring road. omg
i better watch my step. hahaha
no meaning jus nth better to say.. england lost yesterday.. wanted them win.. now i hope portugal can go finals.. haha scolari like super man.. din noe he use pychologists on his players to get them psyched up.. haha