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because
Saturday, July 29, 2006 @ 7:44:00 PM

mother's relatives came from overseas to visit.
ended up sittting through repeated"how are you's" and other customary greetings
realised too:
im really bad at eye contact.
maybe some ppl have already realised.
i cant look at some ppl when i talk
and i just dunno how to start a conversation.
and i can feel all the false warmness around me.
whenever some guest come my house will suddenly feel so warm.
whenever no one comes my house becomes a house.
4walls
blinding white
icy cold.

bitter excitement begins when the shouting starts.

*psychologically damaged
emotionally distorted
like the tetrahedral.
haha.
so funny

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Friday, July 28, 2006 @ 7:54:00 PM

played soccer with shihan and peng yong..
relax a bit..
take mind off things.
senseless fun a bit.
actually not too fun..

coz i like shou luan jiao luan
dunno whether got this word..
but i let a lot of GROUNDERS in today
i mean high balls ok ba
GROUNDERS?

haiz

wad is happening to me???


i seem to be losing it man.

bought other school test papers for math from sch bookshop with iswan
dun think goin start yet anyway
jus feel like buying.
to kid myself that im gonna do.
so many test next week lor
bio
math
chem
math sure die
MY STATS.

sian


weekend.

gonna need to hunt for a sweater..
after yawen's bloody idiot bloody stole my sweater.

and gotta find a new blog skin.
band width as usual.


ij media club broadcast over PA system this morning.
interesting
love is caused by chemicals in our brain.
of course
the interesting fact is not me hearing about this news today
but being REMINDED Of it
coz i read somewhere in the newspapers some years b4
some hormonal action
even infidelity can be explained by hormone levels.

good area to go research gp on i guess.
when writing abt family love marriage etc.
if anyone is reading my blog..and needs to sit for gp at end of this yr..
best go do research.
its interesting.


even on the subject of crushes.
how do such things happen?
how do feelings develop?
i mean u see newspaper..
say..
the most beautiful girls in the world possibly..
y dun u "fall in love" with them?
but with another person?

get my drift?
(means get my point)
trying to use better vocab so can on-form in gp exams.

some food for thought la.


now leave me alone.
smallville is waitin for me.

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Thursday, July 27, 2006 @ 12:32:00 PM

27 july 2006

bio tutorial
not in bio group
din do bio hw
din bring english tys

weird argument

sian
feel very sleepy..
gp couldnt sleep.
irritated

long day
still searching web for my new mp3
-----------------

yesterday gp mock exam

compo HARD like SIAO
ALL dunno
in the end i chose the qn on war..
whether it was necessary to prepar in times of general peace..
coz i thought can link to s'pore..
like total defence and all.
worse part..
i forgot wad total defence consist of.
hahaha


compre was easier than prelim1 i think
but dunno la
hope can get 30/50


i want to find my form for gp.
on form.

-----------------------------------------

last day of week tmr.
then after this wkend 13 weeks to A level

how to pass???

10 hours a DAY?
impossible laaa

very fan(2)

to be updated.
when i have a better mood.

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006 @ 5:43:00 PM

i want to buy a new mp3 player.
HDD
at least 20 GB
any suggestions for brand anyone?
ipod is out.
dun wan wad so many ppl already have.
creative damn ex
and bulky.

considering SONY or AIGO
suggestions?
need it to store all my songs..plus all my games..b4 i return this tablet..haha


super sian today


kena plan timetable for a level in civics today.
i was never any good with timetables.
never planned a timetable for O

jus wrote down all the topics i had left to complete..
then jus kinda looked to see wad i had left lor.


must study so many hrs a day MEH???

where got time?

hate it when wireless fails.
have to use LAN which is so much slower.
furthermore i seem to be depriving another person of her internet time.
coz my lan cable seems to be stolen.


random thought for today:
SHE songs very nice.
favourite chinese grp shd be she liao


#1 random feeling of the day:
i know wad ur up to.
u dun throw me off.
its impossible to be wad u r from wad u claim to do.


#2 random feeling of the day:
feelin half-down half up.

insecure is my middle name.

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Monday, July 24, 2006 @ 8:33:00 PM

hmmm
quite a nice monday today
but feel it wld be better if not for the wait for the chem mcq and the mcq itself.
spoil the early dismissal sia

surprisingly not sleepy today
considering last nite..
off light at 12..feeling tired..
then slept immediately to 12.30..
and woke up
as in really
couldnt fall back to sleep till 2.30 like tat.
real weird.

toss and turn..
listen mp3..
all din get me back to sleep.
i wonder wad was wrong.

i like bio grpp 3
i like azahar to teach.
WAY better than mr tan
i ask mr tan qn he always never answer.
always EVADE.
change subject.
coz i think he dunno.
haha

lots of hw.

haiz.

anyway given the chance to go another jc..
i think i will still come innova.
a lot of reasons that not gonna tell.

but i would change my attitude towards hw in j1.

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Sunday, July 23, 2006 @ 8:23:00 PM

gym today
highlight of the day:
i bought a new toothbrush.
darlie.
thought the pattern of the bristles nice.
plus criss cross
curious how it would feel on my teeth.
it feels a littlesharp..
thats all

so much for my sunday.

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Saturday, July 22, 2006 @ 11:25:00 PM

hmm
i think my tablet spoiling.
very lag
surf net explorer will close
msn error
loading very lag
like my brain.


all of a sudden

after 1st time playin tennis with iswan on friday
now feel like playing.
i think not bad for novice
iswan tried to teach me to lock my wrist
but i cant hit with my wrist locked
so i guess i'll kiv that to later
play my own way for a while.

looks like racquet games are for me.
i wan train tennis.


but one major side effect
if u dun stretch after the game
the ache is WORSE than badminton.

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@ 12:06:00 AM

somethings wrong.
well quite a lot of things.
with me.
need to find the warranty card.
call customer service.

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 @ 2:58:00 PM

I expect to pass through life but once.
If therefore, there be any kindness I can show,
or any good thing I can do to any fellow being,
let me do it now,
and not defer or neglect it,
as I shall not pass this way again.

quote of the day..

was suddenly reminded of this quote..
kinda popped into my head last night.
remembered that someone had told that to me b4...


lost mood to do hw
back to playing games.
when will i stop man...

to be updated.

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006 @ 7:39:00 PM

POOR PHYSIQUE?
ok..
u wait ar..


i everything PES A until kena the height and weight that station..
dunno they measure so many stuff..
like my metabolism rate..
body fat
bone mass
muscle mass..


queer.


anywan what i remembered is my metabolism is 5283kJ
dunno 1 day or wad.
calories i forgot.
body fat:12%
so i weigh 51kg..
shd be about 6 kg of fat only.
no wonder in class i feel cold.


the rest cant relly remember..
but remember majority of my weight now is one and muscle mass.
saw them tick: POOR PHYSIQUE

i always thought my weight for my height is ok?
matbe they mean my shoulders no broad enough
bones too small?
or chest too small
or biceps too small
or short legs
no ronaldinho thighs.


how do i know man..

yea..
so overall im a PES B
which of course is good too.
it says: fit for MOST operational vocations.

PES A says: fit for ALL operational vocations.
the BEST PES.
like wad the hell.
napfa 28 points not enough to get PES A


hmmm

anyway pes b not so bad.
wont kena commando.
anyway pes can change de
coz they will test again when u go in.
so got time to train till pes a i suppose.
i wan be pes a.


the whole 4 hrs+ checkup
all they played was jay chou songs..
so i practically heard all his songs..
from early to latest.
like keep improving..his songs.
not bad..at least got nice music to listen
wah the female receptionist act fierce sia
see her this kind of face..
pretty but act fierce..dunno wad to say.
my fren say feel like slapping her.
haha

generally the ppl conducting the tests were well-mannered..
of course got some like to act big a bit..
shout here shout there..
i mean..
ridiculous lor this guy..
walks with cross legs..
still yelling at the pre-enlistees goin for the checkup..
i mean..
one of them jus pretend brusj past him he will fall down and his legs will be in a knot lor..
jus say:"oops..im sorry"
and can walk off..
he will be on the floor liao lor..
haha
so evil..
but i think if one is weak shouldnt act strong.


must always remember:
its always good to keep a LOW profile.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006 @ 11:03:00 PM

watching "the constant gardener"now
not a very exciting show..
but interesting plot.
no romance.
so can be a bit dry.
but ok.
left disc 2


tmr NS checkup
so i skip all the chem remedials
and the potentially boring dialogue with the defence people in our stuffy hall.


but i also miss my math.

anyway no mood to study 2night.
lately in a very irritable mood.
at people.


and kinda down also.

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Monday, July 17, 2006 @ 7:55:00 PM

hmm
went wdl regional lib to study with iswan
peng and shihan came later

the mood abated..
had quite a productive time studyin..
finished first 3 chapt of bio option topics..
so left 2
human repro and the terrible hormone hormone thing..
plus did my band 4 functions homework

iswan lent me his sweater..
thanks
or else i would have frozen to death after the BK meal..
so cold still drink ice coke..
back in lib..
toilet..realised it was damn cold la..
haha
came back to study..
so cold..
guess not enough lipids on me..
hahaha


peng wan lend me "the constant gardener"
supposed to be a thriller..suspense kinda show..
i wan watch..
realised long time din see thriller this kinda show liao
mostly watch those love-based stories.
dunno wad award-winning show..so must watch.

back to school tmr.
quite sian
considering i dun think i got my chem remedial ws on energetics and all with me
dunno in class or not..
so havent done..
i seem to be misplacing a lot of my stuff.

nice movie on channel 5 tonight.
gonna watch.

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Sunday, July 16, 2006 @ 8:31:00 PM

mummy returns...
on tv

always liked this show..
no mood study today.

tmr shd be studyin..
with iswan..
wdl regional lib

actually dun feel like..
but then..

i must not forget that im the 7 pointer all teachers are watchin..
esp azahar.

the mood.
you'll never know.
can never tell.
is a struggle against the inevitable.
(*hidden meanings)
a sad song says so much...

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@ 9:44:00 AM

The better part of your day may have to be devoted to study and observation of some sort. Take care that you have the information you need.

my horoscope for today...

wth

anyway
finished love on a diet vcd last night..
not bad..
touching la his actions.

i wan watch more vcds.
sick of school.
sick of studying.
i wonder what is still keeping me goin to school..

super bored..
so bloggin jus to pass the time.
i dun feel like studyin.
CONTRARY to my horoscope..
*some things i jus cant say.coz i dunno how.

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@ 12:04:00 AM

the feeling is back.
it never goes away.
the pain.

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Friday, July 14, 2006 @ 3:39:00 PM

watched art of seduction yesterday...

lucky today no math remedial
coz din do math
lazy mood starting again i guess..

woo
long wkend is here again..
cam sleep.
can slack a bit.
actually now i have nth really much to say...

gonna finish up majong king that movie..
not sure if its that name or not..
coz the chinese writing very luan

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Thursday, July 13, 2006 @ 7:27:00 PM

ever since i took my O level..
i have had no urge OUTDO others at studies..
no more incentive
i dun get much satisfaction from beating ppl..
guess thats probably about 50% y i cant really be bothered to study.
my mentality has become like:
pass can le wad..
wad for so high..
pass is pass wad..

no more drive to challenge other ppl in class like in sec school..

another major factor:
i seem to have lost my desire to learn..
at least from books.
in sec school i read at least 2 books a week.
since i started workin after o level..
i prefer ppl's company more.
dun like to read liao.
prefer to talk to more ppl..
listen to wad they say..
have fun with them..
no more indulgence in books.

so i guess i find ooks now VERY boring

so boring that i can sleep on lectures.
sleep when doin math..
reqading bio and chem etc..
my brain will jus SHUT OFF

thats y..

of course..
the main thing is still that i am SUPER LAZY.

but the above 2 account for up to 50% of the blame.
not trying to blame or make excuses..
somehow....

things are different now la.

so many things that i want to change.

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006 @ 4:20:00 PM

relatively uneventful day..
till bio lesson...
azahar say y no one offer help
say sure every class got it rep
say wan extend 45 mins
suddenly du lan
say y teacher wan use dunno how to setup
general statement?
i suppose..
but he shdnt have blamed it on lack of students' help in 1st place..

wanted say short term memory so dun haf to repeat..
plus can tie in and explain for my poor grades..
plus if see him can say forgot ma
all due to short term memory...

goood thing din say tho
no time for such nonsense.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006 @ 7:49:00 PM

i have grown 1 cm from the last measurement..which was like when?
in march?
b4 NAPFA rite?
so i am 4 cm away from reaching 1.7om tall.

if i grow 2 cm per year like this year
that means i finish NS shd be 170 lor
HOPE
hahahahaha

i feel VERY short you noe?
for a guy i think im VERY short.
yea

so im gonna pray and hope that i can grow taller..
so ugly liao still so short..
haiz
really no hope...
haaz

but actually...
170 also very short sia
*syheoaeupipaym

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Monday, July 10, 2006 @ 7:27:00 PM

went tiong bahru to get my $2ooo check
of course half goin to mt father...

met old work frens
ask them help me cash my italy-france bet
haha
now got 20 more dollars
to spend..
haha
hopefully on dead man's chest next wk or sth
haha

jus woke too
damn tired
not enough slp coz of the final match

got back Gp results
got B4 overall..
not bad..
but not good enough.
target is an A
need to take ACTION for my GRADES

got back CHEM as well..
barely scraped a 50 %
so my overall is CDF
a.k.a. cumulative distribution function
=s
craZY
even my grades got somemath element to haunt me...

gonna eat dinner...
and clean up..
then try some tut 38...

jia you to everyone
yahz
nothing is over yet.
112 days still can achieve "miracles"
even for those hu din do so well for gp this time..
never give up...

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Sunday, July 09, 2006 @ 7:36:00 PM

jus woke
damn tired
bbq was fun..
had "the balls, the dicks, and the breasts"
wahaha
vik and numinder really funny
played taiti
won quite a few times
daniel brought his guitar
edwin sing "daughters"
all beside our "cute " pit
coz we din have a real pit
coz no more to book..
hahaha
weird bbq
that small pit look like a birdbath..
hahaha

wow
edwin and gx got their song on a CD!!!
for sale to raise funds for the straits times pocket money fund if im not wrong..
so good la..
its called "angels"
havent heard it yet tho..
not sure if they selling it in school..

damn steady wor
haha
i wan my song on cd too..
haha
but later ba
now a level time.

doze for 4plus hours waitin for portugal germany kickoff
portugal lost.
sian

i dun like to see strong teams win..thats all..
haha
i like to see relative unknowns trash and upset big named teams...

suPer tired after that..
wanted meet iswan go gymm..
then was cancel.
din think anyone could wake in time..
did my morning piano..
read papers..
lunch
then zzz all the way till now..
PIRATES of CARIBBEAN

haha
i saw b4 on dvd from cher ling
so dun think watchin now..
wa
2 days wasted
no work done
NO MATHS DONE
i shouldnt continue like this..
but tonight got italy france..
maybe after this worldcup..

rootin for italy to WIN...
i need to brainwash myself
tell myself its no use.
forget and stop dreaming.
y else do they call it a chance in hell?

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Saturday, July 08, 2006 @ 12:52:00 PM

goin bbq later.
musicians club farewell for j2s..
org by j1s
gonna eat..
relax a bit..

to be updated...

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Friday, July 07, 2006 @ 2:38:00 PM

what's playing??

PIANO MAN-billy joel

Its nine o'clock on a saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin love to his tonic and gin
He says, son, can you play me a memory?
Im not really sure how it goes
But its sad and its sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger mans clothes
La la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da

Chorus:
Sing us a song, youre the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And youve got us feelin alright
Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, Bill, I believe this is killing me.
As the smile ran away from his face
Well Im sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place
Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Now paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And hes talkin with Davy who's still in the navy
And probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But its better than drinkin alone

*Chorus

Its a pretty good crowd for a saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
cause he knows that it's me they've been comin to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, man, what are you doin here?
Oh, la la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da


wad a nice job rite?
to be a "piano man"...
curse a levels..

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Thursday, July 06, 2006 @ 3:18:00 PM

watchin into the blue with is al cal amd py..
of course jk is doin his hw
plus the rest..half-hearted watching..

except me..
no mood for math..

the foul mood is back..
dunno y.

word to liars:
i hate liars.

all.

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006 @ 7:31:00 PM

bio final grade: C
couldnt get 37 in mcq so can get B
wad a fucking waste

awaiting chem and GP
math
sad case
45 upon 200
wow
jus pass rite?
how i wish can liquid the 2 put 1..
then pass liao

H.A.I.z

azahar talk cock la
who say now get F cant get B or A
NO ONE should listen to his ADVICE just now.
4 MONTHS
NO one is going to GIVE UP understand?
he is a lousy teacher who is trying to demoralise.
jus realise iswan is taking his advice seriously for his MATH
im not.
i hope he doesnt.
F*** azahar.
no one has E or F faces..
not in our class.

no one shd give up jus listenin to his bull shit
4 months is a long time
i think those hu are better shd help those hu are weaker.
simple as that
then no one gets left behind.
i dun wan anyone to be left behind next year.

gonna try my math corrections.
sleep..
then watch my portugal win france.
coz i bet on them.

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006 @ 2:37:00 PM

got back bio paper 2 and paper 3 today...
overall 4o plus %
need at least 37 and above in mcq to get a B...
AAAARRGH
so hard...
some more i banked on bio....

chem..
hope can get back papers soon..
hope can get 2 B's..
at least then i wont feel so bad about my maths..

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Monday, July 03, 2006 @ 7:36:00 PM

watchin shanghai noon..
i like jackie chan shows...
like his face.
plus his stunts..

always strikes me how fit these ppl are..

went gym with iswan

bet on portugal..
and italy for the final..
hope win lor..
back to the movie.

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Sunday, July 02, 2006 @ 8:52:00 PM

had a sudden craving for coke today..
drank the 2whole bottle over pirates of the caribbean..
i love the show..
haha
entertaining..
brilliant plot and lines..
perfect..
i wan see the 2nd one..
openin soon rite?

then looked at the coke bottle..
saw puiser and feng ru face..
at the world cup exhibition in spore tat time..
the polaroids the ppl could take but must cue that one..remember?
ya that one
din noe till now.

best part?
address: woodlands ring road.
omg

i better watch my step.
hahaha

no meaning
jus nth better to say..
england lost yesterday..
wanted them win..
now i hope portugal can go finals..
haha
scolari like super man..
din noe he use pychologists on his players to get them psyched up..
haha

its all about mind games.

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Saturday, July 01, 2006 @ 8:09:00 PM

finally today sleep till shiok shiok
and..
finished 3 movies today..
favorite:

VoLcANo hIgh

go figure.
it takes a hell lot..
the show says a lot.
and i am not a hell lot of things.
gonna start the next one soon.

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I'm not listening.



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