im studyin 5 hours a day now..major improvement.. from slacking..at least i have the mood to do MATHS! been in a mood to do math so much that ive finished 02 all the way to 05.. but i havent yet started chem.. and quit bio like one week ago..
the feeling of freedom is coming..can feel the excitement when i think of after the exams.. but in the meantime.. oh no. i need to start chem soon.
im afraid of thursday. because i feel we did not have enough practice. i feel that we did not have enough practice where teacher actually mark our papers. i know a lot of ppl will be cursing me if i say more. so i shall stop. but i truly feel scared.
i hope everyone in our class can pass gp, can do well in bio, chem and math, and no one fails to get a full cert. happy endings are the best. i dun wanna see anyone sad. i'll feel really down if i know some ppl didnt do well. because i want to help and ive tried..but its kinda late. and because ...
i know some ppl will read the small print..copy and paste into msn all..creative =) these ppl will make great PI's or can work in CASE next time. great future.
got my enlistment letter yesterday.. date: 12 april. time: 10am location: pulau tekong basic military training centre school 1. heard that school 2 is slacker but never mind.. i want the tougher training. objective: to be super fit.
at least i wont have to stay at home.. i rather stay in the camp.. unless of course i got something to do outside maybe with frens or other ppl.. then maybe book out on wkend but bmt no booking out.. long sia weird logic: they allow u to bring hp, plus spare batt BUT no charger. LOL then how many batt u supposed to bring? 10? then again i suppose u wont be usin it much.. unless its at nite, or u got sm1 to msg to. --> lucrative business opportunity: stock up on hp batts and go inside sell on black market.. sure make lotsa $$$ haha
at least go in april means i can work and get $$$ and take my motorbike test before that and help out in ijc opening ceremony last job i'll do for free.. and try to see where i can go music wise.. mdm lee say i can see if i can join lee wei song school of music/ go find hai die--an option i previously had in mind, or i can go uni in USA after NS to study music..producer and all..
so uncertain.. and will have to find money for all. bu im open to other career too.. jus that id love to be in the industry. let me be spotted please..
gotta admit one thing now:
testing testing
i realise now im in a kinda creative slump: havent had any new musical ideas since i last recorded my 7 tracks in september.. how will i get anything done for the opening ceremony performance? ministers will be here to cut tape all.. if i can do a good job it'll reflect good on the school.. dont think anyone will recognise my effort tho.. they're afterall jus here to cut the tape. i cant translate how i feel into the new music anymore since then.. maybe its jus the stress of the a level getting to me.. maybe its jus that the feelings are too long now? maybe its a sign to get on with my life?
somebody show me the way.. God show me the way? i dont know what to do. why must there be a feeling inside all of us called hope?
just ignore me..these are jus some thoughts.. feeling weird today
sunday went out with work fren coz hse was too noisy to study. i cant take it.. shouting++ forever.. i cant take it. i want to be around ppl. so i went out.. spent the day talkin rubbish with my fren went bet on liverpool to win man u even tho i felt man u wil win coz the odds 4:1 haha silly right? my friend bet goals. and also on barcelona to lose real so i din lose so much in the end.. being around friends makes me happy. when i was younger i was more able to lone ranger..solo.. soldier on.. now.. change a lot.
monday.. flu finally caught me as i knew it would.. i mean with 2 family members sick its really impossible not to join them.. the odds are not there. tired..lousy..sleep a lot. stomache ache.. feelin better today.. slack for 2and a half days.. malay hari raya i also hariraya. only din go anywhere.. dl rainbow 6 3 and rainbow 6 lockdown to play on my phone.. my new phone.. not bad.. got rocket launcher grenade all to use.. bombs to diffuse within time limit all.. and slept some more.. i wont be ready for my a's la. write me off. i cant find myself.
went to school study more productive than at home.. coz got ppl study along with me. its not easy to study anymore...i think back of the years before how easy it was for me to study.. i guess i changed a lot.. i cant concentrate now too. what changed me?who?when? i dont know. went to yishun watch DEATHNOTE with cher ll n yvonne intriguing movie.. Light truly is immature and careless. he could have written that his girlfriend escapes and just then the police arrive and naomi misora shoots one of the police by mistake. then in her moment of madness, she shoots herself. better right? then he can kill one of the policemen as well as naomi, and yet save his girlfriend. i guess he didnt love her at all. y would he want to pretend he loved her all along did he? if he didnt, i guesss he's a really good actor then.. but if he did, then he must have realised the flaw in his plans in the deathbook..but refused to accept his mistake that he didnt think that his girl would get shot by naomi. L is another character to note. another genius in the fray. id like to think im something like L..always observant..studying patterns..looking for flaws in the other person's argument. but my emergenetics profile says im not blue. DEATHNOTE makes for a very interesting show.. liked the show a lot. a lot. came to like the god of death too..cute his prime addiction: apples. really adorable his antics. not like a death god la
gv is not as comfy as cathay.so small. but no big complaints. *ilikeyesterday. cant wait for deathnote 2.
uni talks were ok.. found the science speaker to be the most exciting. tho the younger pschology speaker was ..unique. dont think any course is to my needs
read a full page article on today about twins li wei song and si song.. want to be like them la.. songwriter plus producer..and singer and performer? but where to learn???
tmr is the last day of school. i dont want school to end..really.
first time im addressing u since i started blogging. usuually im addressing other ppl..ther topics..so..Hi. i know not many ppl make an effort to talk to their blogs..so ima talk to u now.
its gonna be my a levels soon. but first its gonna be graduation. friday the 13th. sounds good? its a dreaded day for some cultures tho..anyway im not worried abt that..it simply means that we're gonna see each other less.cause a is too soon after that. its gonna mean the last 2 weeks of frwantic mugging. but it doesnt ensure EFFECTIVE mugging. coz sometimes u just cant get anything into ur head..and ur staring at the same page from morning to evening.
then the fightening a levels. im scared. first time im fe4eling terrified of an exam..didnt know this feeling in o levels. but a lot has happened during these 2 years..some i jus dont want to give up..to end. but am i God?can i control anything to let it be the way i want it to be?
somethings u simply cant say face-to-face to another person. maybe witha close friend? but u cant be sure that friend will take u seriously too..coz ppl have different moods at different times. they have their own stuff to worry about too.like u, u dont have anything to worry about. to think about. so i can talk quite freely to u, in the way i want to express myself..so others wont understand so fast..and u would understand..coz ur a blog. u can understand all my choice of words..my codes.. my hidden meanings..coz somehow u r an embodiment of what i am. y do ppl choose to keep secrets in codes?..i dont know. ask da vinci perhaps. but then again everyone keeps secrets. so u could ask everyone.
~ everyone mewed hune~ what i think is my best code: word is that ailments plague the night. coz its composed of proper words. and it incorporates the basics of an AP.
todays the monday for our last week of school.. everythings winding up so fast..
read cc blog sbt how good bloggers shd be like.. haha..shd they really need to have really good language? dun really noe.. cant be bothered..to each his own method of bogging.. ---------------------------------------------
highlight of last night: was listening to many fir songs.. think must rate them highest for OrIgInAlI+Y they are really original lor. different style per song also.. but they have some noticeable quirky way about writing their choruses.. its like..they depend on a certain quality/feel a lot. dunno how to explain. but best female group has to be SHE still. my favourite song? 1)--outside castle-HOT(great intro) 2)--feng-jay of course got others..but dun think anyone's too interested to know.. *to be updated..
woo got a cert of appreciation from moe yesterday it says: we'd like to express our DEEPEST appreciation to to me of IJC for 2005 MOE workplan seminar's opening play in which i was the MUSICAL COORDINATOR as shihan put it yesterday felt like i should just praise myself a bit by blogging abt this..thats all cause im REALLY bad at praising myself..y didnt i think of using the words "MUSICAL COORDINATOR" in my CCACIP achievements report? haiz..wasted..d not bad..made me feel better abt myself. anyway.. been put in charge of the school's OPENING CEREMONY in feb 2007 the music an all but that means have to come back during hols..means cant work..means no money..means im not so likely yo help fully. unless of course they pay me lor.. how can expect free stuff... so mr tan if u are reading my blog too u can feedback to whoever u feel that maybe ii could be compensated for the duration i have to come back? i mean who still wants to spend his time IN SCHOOL???when he could be having fun outside.. so i may not do it.. depends again on NS intake..hope its april.. so i can regain some form of fitness before i go in..then wont look weak to them..haha and then wont read headlins saying:NS man collapsed while running 2.4 km.. then my stupid face on the front page.