i'm really really tired. been having super late 6 day weeks. morning till 8pm. one day weekend of respite. and honestly i cant take it anymore. today i got home at 930pm. dinner, bath, and i'm feeling exhausted and irritable. tmr i'll miss church too. have night tank driving. saturday is a full day. leaves me sunday. how how how. and i have doubts abt being able to go next friday too...
prep for australia is really strenuous. and the ppl dont make it easier. how come everyone's so political? able to complain, backstab, and still meet each other and still gei siau act fren-fren, then the instant the person walk away say bad stuff abt him? how do i know i'm not being backstabbed? lowest rank in the team some more anything sure kena jia one.
sad. stressed. tired but restless. how fucked up that feels.
where's the love? world peace? bah.
if it cant exist in the microcosm that every company and workplace is then to even dream of its realisation is romantic in the least.
i'm sorry. being educated doesnt help u in the army, where all the old birds have marked their territory and defend it with valor. i have no desire to be a bird who grows old eating kill. i want to see the world in its simple beauty. i want to be genuine. it doesnt matter if you make use of me. i'll still help you with all my heart. of course in the end i'll know if you did, and i'll be disappointed. but i think i can live with that. plus iflike faith and like faith can do it why not that of unlike faith?
but sometimes being human i get extremely fed up it too. and i still have my faith to remember. thats what makes things miserable. so step on me. its only 2 more years. i can take it.
and i'll make a way for myself. my asshole of a family can sit and watch.