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because
Tuesday, January 20, 2009 @ 10:15:00 PM

Dear God,

if u asked me if i loved my parents, my answer now would have to be no. If u had asked me 10 years ago, it could have been a yes. See, it has died. Hope for peace, happiness and some form of understanding has, as it is orthodox of hope, been blown out, rekindled by a struggling heart, put out by cold words, relit by an insane mind hoping for an impossible eventuality, which finally sees it snuffed out. Totally? After all these years of believing in hope.
I would give my talent and all i'm good at to have a happy home. To do away with e curse and violence. For e last 7 months till our law recognises me as an adult, cant i have this? Why get married if u gonna have this day in day out for 20 years? U say u loved him? He says he loves u but you dont? Wtf? Can u not speak in riddles?

i dont want to feel this way anymore. Come time I'll leave it all behind. Sorry. I'll just get away:(

and i promised myself not to be bothered by this anymore. But it's not really working.

:(
i flared at my superior today. For a small thing. I wasn't in e wrong. But after it i felt it was totally unnecessary. But i was burning and irritated. Hot. And fucking hell i still am. But i've said sorry. Cos i'm trying not to be a hypocrite this year. Can i try to be a better christian?


late. Tired lahh.. Shdn't be gg g12 cos duty tmr.

and thank you. You wont know how much i appreciated it. Cos i suck at this kind of things.
but give urself a chance. Okay?

sorry. I gotta slp. Thank you for e unconsciousness.

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