mother's relatives came from overseas to visit.
ended up sittting through repeated"how are you's" and other customary greetings
realised too:
im really bad at eye contact.
maybe some ppl have already realised.
i cant look at some ppl when i talk
and i just dunno how to start a conversation.
and i can feel all the false warmness around me.
whenever some guest come my house will suddenly feel so warm.
whenever no one comes my house becomes a house.
4walls
blinding white
icy cold.

bitter excitement begins when the shouting starts.

*psychologically damaged
emotionally distorted
like the tetrahedral.
haha.
so funny