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Don't count on me


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Saturday, January 09, 2010 @ 6:30:00 PM

i have a new blog. it is:
i think most of my stuff would be up there now. i'm not too sure where i'll blog at, but wordpress definitely allows me more privacy than blogger.

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Friday, January 08, 2010 @ 12:32:00 AM

i have confirmed that i will be changing bike.

my new bike will be this model(above): yamaha xjr400r
any comments?=)haha
on a more serious note: i seriously have to start saving money.
i dont know where my money's gone=//
that's really no good. how am i supposed to stop working by 50??

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@ 12:10:00 AM

sian. someone cocked up in camp.
so the others on top of him, and below of him (me) are now in some trouble.
to err is human. but to be intentionally BO CHAP and give that fucking heck care attitude to cause all this mess is to be a bastard.

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Sunday, January 03, 2010 @ 11:01:00 PM

i love this album by paloma faith-<>

do u want the truth or something beautiful? i am happy to deceive you.


Prophet took my hand on all saints day
He preached the values of deception
Changing shadows by a shapeshifter rules
Tales are never just for fools
The court of concience came before me
Presenting me with a heavenly angel
You took my hand and ask me, truth aside
To his questions I replied
Do you want the truth or something beautiful?
Just close your eyes and make believe
Do you want the truth or something beautiful?
I am happy to decieve you
He stood as tall as redwood trees
Drank tea from a sseamstress thimble
Didn't want to speak, the honest truth
So I spit out lies that aimed to soothe
Do you want the truth or something beautiful?
Just close your eyes and make believe
Do you want the truth or something beautiful?
I am happy to decieve you
Secrets, lying, falling veils
I can be who you want me to be
Sacred, lies in, telling tales
I can be who you want me to be
But do you want me?
Do you want the truth or something beautiful?
Just close your eyes and make believe
Do you want the truth or something beautiful?
I am happy to decieve you
Sacred lies in, tellng tales
I can be who you wants me to be x2
I can be who you wnats me to be
But do u want me?
But do u want me?

good song, great lyrics, nice voice with a different accent.
very enjoyable listening experience.
i was literally grinning like a fool as i was listening to her songs. very natural, very real.

albums i like 2009-2010: this one, muse-the resistance, and daniel merriweather's love and war album.

thanks st=)

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@ 10:50:00 PM

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Friday, January 01, 2010 @ 1:09:00 AM

happy 2010 all my friends, i'm very thankful to everyone, really happy that we are friends and hope we will continue to be always. (i'm sorry if the sentimentality is a bit strong here, but that's how i feel=D)

i shall not blog about 2009 in my 1st post of 2010. it will be stored in the safest place of all for eternal safekeeping- my memories.

and i have a few resolutions for myself, which i'll lay down soon. but not tonight. i'm very very tired.

God bless all of you in 2010=)
take care people.

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Thursday, December 31, 2009 @ 1:00:00 PM

i feel really excited when i think of my upcoming traffic police test in less than 3 weeks. the "gian"(hokkien for urge) to change bike is here again=/
models i've been looking at for the past few days in online forums and ads.

gsxr400- s4 spec 1-

shadow ace 400-

dragstar 400-

bandit 400-

i havent made up my mind-_- to change or not to change.

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@ 1:10:00 AM

i just finished watching "once".
watch it to know how i feel. i'm gonna leave everything here UNSAID.
i dont feel qualified to provide a synopsis on such a perfect movie. i just know you wont regret watching it. the songs are so heartfelt. awesome.
thanks telling me to watch it. haha

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Wednesday, December 30, 2009 @ 1:14:00 AM

every word. every second, every moment.
crazy? only me.

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Tuesday, December 29, 2009 @ 12:36:00 AM

i was to see the Alps up north
the soft green hills of Tuscany
romance in the rugged Apennines
and feel Vesuvius' breath on me

but you didnt tell me we were bound for Holland
no you didnt tell me you had changed your mind

it is such a different place
and how could i tell my friends
i spent my days being mesmerized
by dutch windmill technology

and i dont care if there're tulips here in holland
cos you didnt tell me you had changed your mind

oh.. the shame
the face that i have tagged to my name.

alone, i stand here all alone
and God my feet hurt from the running that i've done
but u cant feel the pain the way i feel
standing here alone

you will never know
how i have shielded(sheltered) you from calamity
you could never know the plans
my father has for humanity

did i hear you say that you're lonely here in holland?
could you ever know the process of God's mind?

oh.. the shame
the face that i have tagged to my name.

alone, i stand here all alone
and how my feet hurt from the running that i've done
but u cant feel the pain the way i feel
standing here alone


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Saturday, December 26, 2009 @ 11:46:00 PM

dear blog,

i am feeling really disorganized right now. i dont think it's the lack of sleep, though i was awakened this morning by some very LOUD acapella music my father was blasting from my sister's laptop. anyway i could "sleep back" after that.

last night we were at yh's house for christmas. which was nice. it's only my third landed property i've been to in singapore. small but nice piano(paco- never seen before too), very "guai" cat(judging from the way it walked), good food, great time and better company. i'm sorry, but let me reiterate that i shall by no means be pressured into writing in standard Queen's english in my blog. because i want to write it the way i feel. so i'm sorry if anyone disapproves.

sometimes i wish that time wouldnt pass so quickly. and it's a very moody character, time. it chooses it's moments to be fleeting and stalls when it feels like it. but alas it has no master. so we are all under it's prerogative.

i have been trying( in vain) to capture the christmas feeling this year and melt it down
into a song. but i have been very very unsuccessful in the area of lyrics- i cant decide what i want to say. there's too many things to say to the audience but limited by the melody.
and having my father home is helping with the recording. cos the place is more noisy with him around. and i get interrupted a lot more, to hear his opinions on a wide range of subject matter, from my life to my current job to my music. i feel really flustered when he's around. partly cos i cant get anything done, mostly because whatever he has to say is not going to make a difference to the situation, because he talks but who was responsible for it all that happened? i dont have to spell it out- heaven and earth know.

i went to malaysia at about 8pm for petrol(and to try to calm my racing heart.) saw this yellow piece of paper stuck at the petrol kiosk that restricted foreign vehicles from fuelling up more than 20litres of malaysian petrol before they exit the country; i was wondering how would they check. and why were they so dumb? we singaporeans go in to fill up petrol from them because we find our pumps (for the same brand and grade) more expensive than theirs. arent we giving them more business? money? why do they want to limit the amount of petrol we buy from them? am i so naive i'm not seeing the other point?

i find this year to be closing way faster than i can handle! i hope the last few days can be spent very meaningfully, with my friends.

the ride earlier calmed me a little, but my heart's working up again. you know it's the same feeling as when ur writing a song, or u see a certain someone smile. or u see a double rainbow first thing in the morning once u wake up and leave ur tentage to make for breakfast, though u know it's gonna be another long day in australia. drinking doesnt make you calm, though it makes you ponder, long and deep. sometimes u ponder until u lose track of your thoughts. in any case pondering is really bad beacuse sometimes it gets u nothing done.

just realised that i'm on duty for hof on the 1st of jan. that's a friday, and a public holiday. what a coincidence. couldnt there be like, a break because it's bew year's day? haha

feeling calmer now. i was intending to type until i was calm enough to sleep. from not so calm to more calm, i've actually lost some of wht i'd wanted to say. real lousy.

i wrote a diary for when i was in australia. it helped me contain some of my most private thoughts that i had. i think i want to do that for 2010. couple of song ideas are in there too.
i noticed that i can come up with tunes based on only single words. i have the chorus to one song titled: alone, from my stint there. it's not about me alone. it was about this tree that i saw, standing against the evening sun. with no companions(peers) about it. it was just the grass. and the mountain range in the distance. and it was all alone. and almost the instant my mind uttered that word, i had the tune for the chorus. all these songs will probably go into what i call my back catalogue. to be kept and buried. i've even forgotten the earlier ideas from a few years back. if i can forget them means they're probably not good enough.

i really admire songwriters. they have this ability to transcend the area of awareness of everyone else to create that song. i'm nowhere near. come to think of it, i'm nowhere near anything at all. music- half-past six. no grades. only can "bluff" when i play. voice-awful. education-lagging behind. eloquence- pitiful. i only write well to myself and think and "voiceover" fluently in my own mind to myself. somehow it always gets lost in the transmission to whoever. i really really want to set all this right. but how?

i thought u played very well. i've never hear u play before, and i was pleasantly surprised! i hear ur run over mozart's sonata=) i think piano players should learn to move away from static and boring chord playing. i'm sorry. i love runs. wild runs that let me see and feel more accurately what the composer is seeing and feeling. as such i love chopin and liszt. they run alot. and their chords are lovely too. i like cadenzas and adlibs. but i havent played them for so long. i havent played the piano properly(believe it or not) for 3 years. i have not done scales for the same amount of time. i'm still getting away with what i have left in my 2 hands but that's gonna go soon if i dont get back to the basics. i have to make time to go back to the piano. and become closer friends with the guitar.

i have so many things i'd like to do. i seriously hope to get that song done soon. and another song that will be guitar led, for a smaller audience. david has not let me hear his idea yet. we dont write songs together( just for the record), but he's been telling me about it since i was in australia. i'll bet it's probably a good idea too.

when feelings get the better of you a song will inevitably be born.

feel like i can sleep now. haha

thanks blog.

church and practice tmr. work on monday. back to business.


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@ 12:31:00 AM

merry christmas everyone!
i am really not in a mood to blog right now, though there's much i'd like to say and write down.
but this year i spent christmas with friends and family. and that's what's worth it all.


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Monday, December 21, 2009 @ 11:18:00 PM

not feeling well. think i'm catching a cold.
headache and neckache. feel like sneezing. going to sleep=(

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@ 12:41:00 AM

watched the princess and the frog with st, lilian, mh, zw and cm
very well planned show, kudos to disney.


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I'm not listening.

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